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REUNION 2003
Ryan planned on going to a reunion of his friends at Carlisle in
2003. Some of his friends still came together and sent pictures and said he was missed.
A Poem by Keelan
Keeping
the Light
To think of that night,
Still leaves my face stained
With the tears.
How could it happen?
The beginning of my worst fears.
A great person,
Is now gone.
All of this before
The break of dawn.
Forever in our hearts,
The memories we
Will never part.
Will it ever be right?
What really happened that night?
The sadness and sense
Of emptiness, I cannot fight,
But I can carry on
The vibrant energy, that
Shone from him
When he was in sight.
As long as we're living,
He's living through our
Memories, the thought of
It brings me to my knees.
Don't let your feelings
Grow cold, just remember
His voice, "Keep your head
High, and stay gold!"
Keep the memories,
And the friends.
Don't ever grow apart.
Just keep in mind,
One love, One heart!
Kelly's Poem
In disbelief I sat
My world frozen in a single moment
The windows to my soul
Tried to change it
And not
own it
Heart failed to pump
Blood ceased to flow
What happened that night?
His thoughts I'll never know
My
tears just could not stop
I knew it couldnt be
I held onto the memories
In fear, they too, would leave
It
was hard to breathe some nights
Crying until sleep
I'd try to talk about it
But there were no words to speak
Never
will I forget
that year ago today
Nor will I let go
Of all the crazy Carlisle days
I wished so hard to make
it right
to laugh with him
and hug him tight
But, only one thing comforts me
The promise of eternal life
Subject: a little poem from john
IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE
I always looked up to you, in more ways than one
you, one of the rare people that carried
around light
and shared it with others so that we might
have a split second as high up as you
where a clever mind
sat
and a pure heart beat,
you were closer to God, in more ways than one
I find no rhyme or reason
that I should
be here without you.
Souls are like fires, and the greatest ones burn the quickest
you did unto others better than you
expected from them
you made this new kid in your group welcome
and kept him smiling everyday after
it came quick
to call you friend
and much too fast did you leave
the example you set in your short trip
is unmatched by wrinkled
faces
for this was truly a man,
this was truly a friend,
the only person younger than me
that I tried to be.
And
should the opening of heaven be a tunnel of light,
a pipe of brightness,
the first sound I better hear is echoing skateboard
wheels Ryan.
Cause if I got to skate with you again,
I'm not sure I'd want to reach the gates
FOR
MY FRIEND RYAN DEMPSEY
From Tim
Hows
the weather Ryan?
I
see clouds in the sky.
Whats
up boy Ryan?
Havent
talked to you in a while.
You
were a funny kid Ryan.
Still
remember your smile.
We
should get together Ryan,
We
homies you and I.
Im
so confused Ryan
Youre
gone and I dont know why.
Im
crazy with anger Ryan,
No
chance to say goodbye.
Youre
too damn young Ryan,
So
young to die.
They
say life goes on Ryan,
For
you I have to try.
Ill
never forget you Ryan,
Every
day that goes by.
How
should I feel Ryan?
They
say boys dont cry.
What
do I do Ryan?
When
it tears me up inside.
I
say One Love Ryan.
And
you guard this back of mine.
I
say One Heart Ryan.
Still
remember your smile.
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| Tim's Tattoo (Broken without Ry) |
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| Tim's Tatoo (An Elephant Never Forgets) |
This was on an IM Profile
Slimwlkns43
If you
are reading this you are one of my friends and I care about you. so please wear
your seat belt....
Ryan
Tullus Dempsey "Whitey"
8-9-81-------5-2-02
forever
young
..."what
do I do Ryan?
when
it tears me up inside.
I say
one love Ryan.
and
you guard this back of mine.
I say
one heart Ryan.
still
remember your smile."
REST
IN PEACE HOMEY!!!!!!!!!!!
Recent Email
From Lawton Friend
Sir,
My name is Philip Morgan, I met you in Lawton
when Ryan brought me to
have breakfast with you and your wife. It has taken me a long time to
contact you, I was
away when you had his memorial and could not attend. I
think of Ryan everyday that passes. Your son was my
best friend in the
world when he passed away. I was given a couple of copies of the card from
his memorial and
I have some pictures that we took while we were in the
dorms. The only other thing I have keeps Ryan with me everyday
is the key
to his apartment. He had two keys, one was his and the other one he gave to
me. Apartment 221
it is on my key ring and goes with me everywhere.
I spent many great times with Ryan and I can
tell you that your son was
someone very special to me. I realize all to well how hard it is to find
good people
in life. To this day I hear music that he introduced me to and
it makes me miss him and alot of times I cry knowing
that I will never see
him again. I am truly sorry for the loss that you and your wife have went
through I am sure
that you suffer every day.
I am currently in Germany and I only wrote this e-mail to let
you know
that your son has had a very large impact on my life in many ways and I will
never forget him.
Sincerely,
Phil
From one of the Cadets we sponsored while we were
at West Point
Ryan - My Little Brother
Growing up, I'd always wanted a little brother. 8
1/2 years separated from my closest sibling, - my brother Rob , there were many lonely times when I wished I'd had someone
to hang out with. At West Point, Ryan was the little brother to me. I can remember
wrestling with him downstairs, and listening to him whine). We played video games, watched movies, and talked about
Army Football players.
When I left West Point for a year, I missed him, and it
was great to be back with my little brother when I returned in 1992. He hadn't grown that much - still a skinny little
red-haired guy (I can say that, because I too was a skinny little red-haired guy). It's probably not your fondest memory,
but I smile when I think about how Ryan got in trouble (small trouble) at school, how he complained
about his teachers. That was a bond we shared. I would assure you guys that I was in lots of trouble when I was
young, and everthing worked out okay, Ryan would be okay too. Ryan
really was a big part of my West Point experience. I enjoyed the fact that he looked up to Cadets, and I felt responsible
for teaching him how to follow Jesus as he grew up.
My next memories of Ryan are
from the summer of 1993, when I often visited your house in Virginia. Things had changed some. Ryan
had grown a lot, and seemed more like a friend than a little brother. We would joke with each other in the back
of the Saab (on the way to church). We would hide the same things under our potatoes (ocre?), and we had lots of fun.
I remember shooting baskets with him one sunny summer day, and then taking him to a batting cage with John Andonian.
I think we even rented a movie that night. I could tell then that Ryan was growing into a
great kid.
We saw Ryan a few more times
along the way: at our wedding at West Point and then again in Bellevue, Washington (1996). But it was 199 when I last
saw Ryan. We got to see him only briefly - at your house in Carlisle. He was definitely
too tall and grown up to be my little brother by then. And as a high school senior-to-be (I think), definitely too busy
to hang out and talk with some married guy, his wife, and their kids. Ryan was so grown up.
Really, I knoew the 12 year-old, and this was a different person.
I will catch up with him in Heaven. Ask him how college
was going. We can joke about our least faviorite teachers, our most hated vegetable, and whatever else comes to mind.
Moving around makes it tough to stay in touch; Ryan can tell me about Hawaii and high school, and
so many other things.
I thank Ryan, and I thank you,
for giving me something to look forward to during those hard days at West Point - for providing me a family and a little brother
in a place where I knew no one an felt very alone. He blessed my time on earth and will always be an important person
to me.
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| Timothy Ryan Crandel with brothers and sister |
We are expecting our fourth child in October, and if it
is a boy we will name him Timothy Ryan.
Love, Doug
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This was from one of Ry's friend's mom:
Dear Patty and Terry, Just sitting here and had you in my heart and couldn't
sign off without letting you know that. I have been looking at the web site that you set up for Ryan. How bittersweet
the letters, pictures, music and all the love that has poured out. I see that first picture of Ryan that comes up and such
a flood of memories pour out of my heart. That skinny red head with a laugh that made you laugh, a love that made you
love him back. I was laughing at the one story of the crickets....it is true...Ryan was truly afraid of bugs.
When we took him away for that one weekend in Hawaii there was a centipede on the curtains. What a fuss your son made.
David was busy smashing it with no fear and here comes your son with a HUGE knife...not sure what he thought he was going
to do with that but there he was Ryan to the rescue even though he was terrified that the centipede would "get us!"
The same weekend he and David out in a canoe tipping over legs flying laughing at me when I yelled at them to come back in.
All the mornings, Ryan walking through my house, hair all over his head like a misdirected mop...grinning and heading
for what ever food he could find. Ryan telling David...."don't talk to your mom like that David....it isn't nice."
What cherished memories we all have, what a wonderful young man he was, what an impact he made on all whose lives he touched.
I know that there is not one of us that knows how painful some days must be for both of you. I do know that
there is not a day that goes by without you both in our prayers. Thank you for giving those that lost Ryan a place to
go to and visit him. It has a healing for each of those young friends that we as adults can probably not understand.
I just wanted to know that you were in my thoughts today and that you are both so precious to us. Hope that
all is going well with your upcoming move. Do you know when you will leave? I know you will have even more healing
being able to be near Stacey and of course the joy of sharing a young sweet grandbaby. Drop me a note when you have
a moment. We love you Ruthann.
These were on a friends' AIM profile pages:
Oklafrknrky
This one's for WHITEY!
R.I.P.
Ryan "yt" Dempsey 5/2/02 2:30 A.M. you will
always bein in our minds and our hearts! We love
you!
You were my brother and friend! I will never
forget all the
things you did for me or helped me
through all
the advice helped i will keep smiling for
you and we will
forever stay gold! *Reunion 2003*
is for you!
You were the light for many! You made a
lot of friends
and left a lot behind! I never got to tell
you what you
meant to me but you meant the world
to me and i
love you so much! Keep smilin for us
and always stay
gold! We love you FOREVER! One
Love, One heart
and i will forever be the one and
only OKLAFRKNRKY!
This was sent to Ryans email 4 days after he died.
.cHey.. I know you're not going to get this. But maybe you'll know somehow.
You were always there for me. Whenever I got in trouble you were there n stuck by me. You were the one who would always tell
me that I needed to get it together and stop being bad. You told me to stop all the things I was doing and be strong. Well,
I did. It's been a long time since I've done anything like that. Almost two years. You always told me to keep smiling, and
that someday we would all meet up again and have our "carlisle reunion." I thought maybe I was going to actually see you this
summer if you got to come out here to hawaii. Im moving to california in august. I was really looking forward to seeing everyone
next summer in 2003. The boozers and keelan, alan, you, everyone. I honestly dont know what to say. We were all such good
friends and I dont understand why this happened. I remember the last time keelan and I saw you. It was on my street in PA
and I had my video camera and was filming everything. We talked on the camera and you had just gotten a hair cut. You walked
away and then you were walking with jimmy boozer and I got all dramatic with the filming and said goodbye to you and the screen
faded out. I couldnt bring myself to watch that tape. I dont know what I'm even talking about anymore. You were such a good
friend and I'll never forget you. I wish I could call Jacey and Jimmy and Alan and we could talk, but I dont know their numbers
and I dont know when they will be online next. I really miss you. I guess its hitting me pretty hard. Everyone. I never got
the chance to tell you, but you were one of my closest friends, and the friendship meant a lot. Well, I guess this is it.
I'll see you again someday. -Kelly aka Morsette
Email received May 14
I was just thinking about sending you the tape. It will be a couple weeks though,
I will make a copy as soon as possible. I will scan through the video and get all the clips of him. There are clips of him
playing basketball with Jimmy and Alan, and some other things. There are also pictures of him on there and our other friends.
Its kind of like a little slide-show with music, and there's also a part on there that shows your house and everything so
I
will be happy to send it to you. Ryan lives on in my heart and some good memories of him are brought to life in the Video.
He was a very good friend to me and I'll never forget him. There was this one time that he was telling
me how he would
set his alarm to one-o-clock in the morning, and then go to sleep. Well, the alarm would go off and he'd get up thinking it
was time to go to school, but then he would look at the clock and say, "YES! 6 more hours of sleep!" Well, he said that one
night he did the same procedure, woke up, realized the time was 1:00am and set his alarm for 7:00am, the time he needed
to
get up. Well, the alarm went off and he knew that this time he had to get up and get ready. It turned out that he had forgotten
to turn off the alarm on his tv or something, so it was only 2:00am and he still had time to sleep.
lol
More later,
Much Love, Kelly
Email received May 15
Mr and Mrs Dempsey,
I'm really sorry to hear about Ryan!! He was one
of my best friends from Carlisle!! He helped me through a lot of the problems i had when we lived in Carlisle even after we
all moved away he kept in touch with me on aol and when I had a problem he tried to help me with it! He never missed a chance
to talk to me even if he only said "hi and bye" he never ignored me! I live in Poteau, OK and he lived in Lawton and him and
Jimmy Boozer were always tellin me that they were going to come and visit me when they got the chance. whenever i was down
Ryan would always say " keep smiling things will get better!" he always told me to stay gold and to always stay strong and
stand up for what i believed! He always told me that i was like a sister to him and I loved him soooo much! I never even got
to tell him that! He always said " One Love, One heart" I'd always say it back but i never got the chance to just come right
out and tell him how much i cared for him and how much he meant to me! I just keep telling myself that he can't be gone it
can't be real but then reality hits me and it just tears me up! We were all supposed to meet up in Carlisle next year after
the last of "the group" graduated! We were all supposed to meet at the Carlisle Barracks at our favorite place to hang out.
After mine and Kelly's graduation. I'm so sorry! i don't want to upset you, but you asked me to write this to you. I'm so
sorry that i didn't get to go to the funeral! I wanted to see him one last time but some of my friends told me it was best
that i didn't get to go. I didn't even find out until the day of the funeral and i don't even really know what happened or
really anything! Where it happened? what happened? how it happened? It tore me up and I bawled for 2 days strait and it still
upsets me! I would just be sittin there thinkin about him and i would remember all the funny things he did or all the things
he helped me through and then i'd think not Ryan and then reality would hit me and i'd start crying! I'm still trying to cope
with it and accept that it did happen and all i can do is remember the good times and keep him in my heart and know that he's
lookin down on us! I keep hoping that it was a mistake but then once again reality hits me! I'm sorry! I'm just rambling now!
I thank you for asking me to do this it has actually kinda helped me with dealing with it by being able to talk to you about
this! I will definetly stay in touch so that we all can try and get through this sad time! Thank you again! Keelan
Ch. and Mrs. Dempsey
I have gone through so many pieces of paper and tried so many times to sit down and collect my thoughts on paper for
you all. I don't know how I can ever express the sympathy I feel, I loved Ryan with all my heart. He was one of
the greatest friends I left Carlisle with. He was the most real and true person I'd ever met and that's something I
valued with our friendship, that he had the ability to bring out the best in me. Whenever I'd stay inside on the weekends
I could always count on him to come throw rocks at my window, he always said he didn't like me staying alone. It
was so nice to have someone who cared like he did. He always wanted to make sure everyone was happy and no one was left
out. At nights he'd come talk to me at my window and sometimes we'd go on walks by the creek and just talk; it was nice
to have someone like him. Later when we went off to college we would talk online every day and he'd call me sometimes
and we'd have long talks and he'd make sure I was alright. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't have made it. My grandfather
was terminally ill at the time and I had gone through a messy break up. But Whitey was always there for me.
No one could make me laugh like he could. In May of 2001 I was in D. C. for the annual music festival held by 99.1 radio
statoin. He was there to surprise me for my birthday. When I saw him I just yelled and jumped on him.
I have never been so excited in my life. That was the best birthday present ever. Whitey gave me so much advise and
helped me so much in my life. I love him so much. You raised a wonderful, caring, and genuine man who's touched
so many hearts.
God Bless! Kiki
Email received June 24
This past weekend I went
to a music festival. And for much of the time that I was there I was thinking how much Ryan would have loved it there.
I felt like Ryan was with me and miss him very much. I think about him all the time. He was a true friend and
a joy to hang around with. I think a part of Ryan will always be with me in the form of happy memories and thoughts.
I miss him very much, and am truly honored by him sharing part of his life with me.
We'll be best friends forever.
Sincerely,
Mikey
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| Jimmy's tatoo for Ry (RAH) |
hey, hey, hey
Ive been thinkin about you guys so much,,,your definetly in my prayers everynight before
i lay my head down. I was issued a 5 hour pass because its sunday but i have to go back in a couople hours. Ryan
was an amazing character,,,,he tought me so many things in life,,,,how to dress with style ,,,how to treat my mother ,,,,and
he just made me what i am today,,,,i will carry him with me wherever i go and i cant wait to see him when i pass,,,now im
not afraid to die,,,,,because i know when i pass away,,,he will be right there, givin me a hug,,,,and then i can tell him
"its been awile brother,,,,ive missed ya,,,,lets go sit on that cloud and talk,,,ohhh can i borrow those shoes?.".........I
cant imagine what yall are going through,,,,,but im just a phone call away,,,,this is the hardestthing i have ever had to
deal with,,,and i know it is the same for yall..................if he just wasnt so caring and thoughtful and loving towards
others it would be easier,,,but he was remarkable and i will carry his name on 4 ever,,,,,the military life is crazy,,,i will
write next week,,,,,,,,,,love always, a friend of an angel ,,,,,jimmy
Email received August 3
Whitey
was known for making people laugh but I remember the time that he made me laugh the hardest was in Carlisle. Me, Jimmy,
Alan, Chris, Natalie and Whitey were all at the park behind the Y.S. and we were all just standing on a part of the jungle
gym and Whitey was near the edge of the wooden platform and for some reason took one step backwards......and as he would say
"ATE it so hard!" All you could hear was him clonking his head on every bar on the ladder on his way down and
it was so funny because for once we could make fun of him. Even a couple months ago i would make fun of him for that.
Jacey
In
the boozer basement we have a lot of bugs mostly crickets. When Whitey needed a place to stay before he got his apartment
he slept in the basement with Jimmy. After I had came downstairs from making
him a fried bologna sandwich (one of his favorites) he was laying on the floor when he spotted a huge cricket coming towards
him. i have never heard a man scream like that before. He jumped on top of my couch and threw me his shoe .. telling
me to kill it ,,, which is surprising because we all know how whitey ALWAYS keeps his shoes clean. I didnt catch him
laying on the floor the rest of the time he was here. he remained standing on the couch until i swore to him that i had killed
the rest of the bugs..it was so hillarious to see him so scared like that.
~Janie
Email received December 13
Mr. & Mrs. D~
I don't even know where
to start! Ryan truly was one of the greatest, funniest, most loving person that i've ever met. I remember the first time that
i met him in Carlisle, i saw him at the YS and i kept telling my sister Jacey how much he looked like this guy off of a music
video....im sure you all know " pretty fly for a white guy" =) Ryan was so outgoing right when i met him. From then on, I
talked to him about everything. Whenever I needed advice about ANYTHING, i would always go to him, because somehow, he always
knew the right answer. I remember always talking to him about boys, and what i should do.....u would think that u couldnt
reallly talk to a guy abuot that stuff...but he was definetly the one. He always knew how to cheer me up and make me laugh
so hard, by just being the biggest dork. I remember that he drove me and some friends to homecoming in carlisle...and on the
way to the restaurant, he played the same song over and over again!! He also loved fried bologna sandwhiches and always asked me to make them for him. Whenever i told him to
do it himiself, he'd be like " noo i cant,i dunno how, and you make them the best, come on!" It always made me laugh. I remember
that him and our other friend Alan would always fight over who my dog liked best, it was an every day thing, and of course
Ryan always thought he was the one she liked more! Gosh ihave so many memories of him.........my sister Janie is right about
him being soo scared of bugs, him and Jimmy both, they would scream like little kids whenever one was near them. It was so
funny to see. I think Ry was at our house every every day in Carlisle, and then he moved here, to Oklahoma, i was so happy,
because Ryan was like my second brother. Whenever he was over, and someone was bad mouthing my mom or dad...hed put one of
us in line and be like " man,chill, be nice to your mom!" He was always good about that. I remember one night, it was actually
like 2:00 am and i was still up and had gone to get some water, and ryan came upstairs and he thought i was sleep walking
and he could not stop laughing, but i wasnt.......ryan made fun of me for so long after that, even though he was wrong =)
Man, i miss him so much, theres days that i talk to him soo much, hoping that he hears me. He's in my prayers every night
and i want to thank you for bringing up such and incredible son. He was a friend to everybody, at his memorial service, their
was so much diversity in the crowd, but it didnt seem to amaze me because i alwasy knew thats how Ryan was, he had a HUGE
heart and never judged anyone. I hope i wasnt rambling one, but i had alot to say about him, and so much more. I hope this
helps you as much as it helps me, talking about everything. You guys are in my heart and prayers. Love you Ryan, you always
remember, thanks for being my " second brother"!
Love always,
Jenna
Email received May 14
hey this is steve....i'm was one of ryans friends that he met at harding.
I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. This has been such a shock for me, he was truly one of my favorite people in
the world. One way that helps me to cope with this is remembering all the good times we had together and all of the
things I learned from him. That is one of the main reasons I feel the need to e-mail you. First off, I realize
that mothers day just passed and it reminds me of how Ryan felt about his mom....he used to always show me his new clothes
that he got from his mom and brag..." check this out man, my moms so tight. She always knows my style".....I would often stop
by his dorm to go somewhere and he would be on the phone with you talking about something. So i'd leave for a little
while, stop by later....still on the phone. It was obvious that he loved and appreciated both of his parents vary much.
Through the way he described you. The first time I met Ryan was the beginning of my Sophomore year at Harding.
My friend Brian was a Freshmen and remembered him from Fairfax so he introduced me and we quickly became friends. I then
introduced him to my friends and he quickly befriended them all as well. That brings me to one of the first qualities I noticed
in ryan, because all my friends were very different from each other in many ways and he would get along with them all.
He was an extremely accepting person and treated everyone the same no matter what. But back to when I first met Ryan,
Brain was waiting with Ryan and we were all ganna play pool, I was out with a girl I was interested in and lost track of time.
So much later, when I finally showed up...Brain was mad and complaining about me for being late and Ryan didn't really say
much but introduced himself. Later that night Ryan and I started talking, getting to know each other, and he explained
to me how he understood where I was coming from about me loose'n track of time and he started to tell me about his girlfriend
JC. We talked that night forever, he was such an open person I could talk to Ryan about anything and he would always
listen. I value the friendship I had with him and I know I'll see him again. I have a lot more I can type about
him but its late, I will write more soon though. I would like to hear other stories written by some of the people that
knew him....it would help me, this has been hard. I will continue to pray for you and you're family. -
Love, Steve
Email received May 14
Mrs. Dempsey,
My name is Catie, and I went to Harding with Ryan.
Towards the end of his only semester there, Steve, myself, and Ryan hung out everyday, basically all day long. Your
son was one of a kind, he was constantly making me laugh. I have met you before, My parents live in Virginia Beach,
so I visited Ryan at your home in FT. Eustis, that is when I met you and your husband. Ryan nd I actually went
thru a lot together, somethings that aren't worth repeating, but I considered Ryan one of my dearest friends. I haven't
talked to him in awhile and that breaks my heart. The last time I talked to him was a few months back and we only talked
for about 5 minutes and I told him I had to go and that I promise I would call him back tomorrow, and sadly enough I never
did. I wanted your address from the moment I found out about Ryan, he prolly didn't let you know just how much he loved
you, not only loved but liked. He would always be talking about you, how he could talk to you on instant messanger,
and you would make him laugh when you corrected his grammar, he would tell me what you wrote and say...My mom is so funny
listen to this, or my mom sent me some clothes and they are tight, she really gets me. He really respected you and I
know that is not something he prolly didn't let you know. I know that he wasn't the perfect son, nor am I the perfect
daughter, but he had a wonderful heart when it came to the people he loved, he watched out for me, and talked to me for hours
when I was feeling down. He always could make me laugh. Right now of course I can't think of any one particular
story, but when one does come to my head, I will definitly write you again with it. I hope you are
comforted a little
by this, I hope God can grant you some peace. Ryan will always be missed by myself and by many others. Love Catie
Email received
May 15
Mr. Dempsey,
My name is Catie and I was
very good friends with Ryan. I went to Harding with him. Steve called and told me what happened and I am very
sorry for this loss. I wish I had the words to say, but all I know is that I am praying for you and your family.
I would very much like to know the website at the funeral home to send a card to and your home address. I have actually
met you and you wife, I live in Virginia Beach and over Christmas break our freshman year I went to your home. Ryan
was always a very good friend to me and I will forever miss him. He was one of a kind and very special, I always say
the good die young, not that it is fair but it always seems to be the case. Please know that Ryan talked
very well of you and your wife, that might not be something he let you know. I would really also appreciate
your wifes email address if you would like to give it to me. May you find peace.
Love Catie
Email received May 15
Hi, I am just writing to express my condolences to your family, I first met
Ryan, when he was here at Harding, He was a great friend, and then in the summer he came to Searcy, and I chilled with him
this past summer, Then in Sept. I was going to go and see him In Oklahoma, but something happend, and never made it to see
him, I got stuck in Roland, I wish I would have gotten to see him, I would like to finish the trip I started to see him, could
you please send me the address to where he is buried, I would want to finish it, and pay my respect to him, He will truly
be missed. I will never for get him.
LAMON
Email received May 19
Life is so short, and you never know what is gonna happen, I just wish I would
have made my trip, I wish he was here, I truly miss him. We both lived in the same dorm Harbin, and just one day we started
talking and hit it off, He always hung out in my room late night freestyling like all hours of the night, he would always
iron and starch his pants in my room. Now that I know that he was planning on coming back this fall it makes me a little more
upset because I now think of all the things we could have done if he came back up here. I connected with him because it was
like it seemed Harding was not for us, but he always said MAN you can DO it, just stay strong, and I have. We hung out like
all the time, not as much as him and steve, but he hung out alot, Could you please send me the exact date he left us? I would
like to remember it. It is crazy how you never think something like this would happen. I know one day I will see him, again,
and until then, I will always remember him, Thanks for Writing me back,
Lamon
Email received June 29
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Dempsey,
Ryan and I hung out alot during
our first semester of school at Harding. I missed him when he went to Oklahoma. I came to visit him when I went
to Virginia Beach. Ryan, Cate, and I went to the movies. Ryan was very punctual and had excellent hospitality. I never had
a boring conversation with Ryan. My heart goes out to you. I have a part of Ryan in me. I am praying for the both of you and
your family. I send my regards.
In
prayer for you,
Alex
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Email received May 14
Thank you so much for responding! i wish i
could put my arms around you
too! maybe by doing that, it would make the situation more real for me.
Honestly,
i haven't been able to get past the disbelief, and the denial
stages. I know he is gone, but i know it through words
alone. I just wish
i could have seen him, or helped him. Being stuck here, with so much work
to do, i am
often distracted and don't think about Ry duing the day, but at
night, when i am alone with my thoughts, they inevitabley
turn to him. Even
though Ryan had changed much when i saw him this summer, and i'm sure that i
had as well, i
could still see the goofy, well-meaning, true hearted Ryan
that was my best friend for the better part of 2 years during
some of the
most pivotal years of my life. Much of who I am now, i owe to what i
learned from him, and from you
all as well. Ryan taught me the importance
of following your heart, and being proud of what you believe in, and he
taught
me that it doesn't matter what people think, as long as you try your
best. Now, you may think...."My Ryan did all
that?!" Well i can tell you,
he did, maybe i didn't realize it at the time and he definitley didn't tell
me with
words, but i learned so much from his actions and convictions.
See it's so easy for me to reminisce,
but then i think about why i am
and i just revert back to denial. Like i said, it's so hard for it to be
real
to me, being stuck here. I need to get out, and talk to people that
knew him.
I think the very
reason Ryan was able to care for those who you all
would have judged too radical or as losers is his good heart.
He never
passed judgement and was so likeable, he attracted all types of people. I
think that he got this from
you. You may say that you were too judgemental
or bigotted but I don't think that's the truth, and I don't think
he
believed that either. You were simply concerned with the future and
well-being of your Ry. I truly believe
that he would have been just fine. I
think that he is just fine now. I don't think we will ever understand why
God
chooese who he does. Why did Ryan have to go? Why did God have to take
someone that I cared so much about?
I don't know this answer, but I am not
tormented by the question either, because i have faith. I just know that
there
are reasons for everything and though we may not always see them, they
exist, ultimately, for the betterment of ourselves
and those around us.
It's strange but i feel a sense of guilt, like there was something i could
have done that i didn't,
or something i could have done to prevent all
this....I guess that is sort of true, but how was i, or anyone to know?
That's
another ominous thought, we don't know what will happen tomorrow, or
even in the next hour, it's very intimidating but
i can't help but think of
it at a time like this. I mean, how do we know when we wake up that it's
not our day
to go? Well, we don't and that's why i think it's so important
to not take anything for granted and to try to appreciate
everything as much
as we can. It's such an odd feeling, that i will never again be able to
speak to him, at least
not in the earthly sense. But i'm sure he hears my
prayers, and i bet he's made a lot of friends.
I keep thinking about my poor family and friends, if something like this
had happened to me. I think that's when
it really hits me and i can feel
the tears swell. But i don't think i can accurately express how amazed i am
at
the way you are dealing with this. I am so proud, so happy to see that
you are looking at this positively.
You all are the nicest, most loving,
most open and caring family i've ever met, and i think your openess and love
for
eachother is serving you well in this time of grief.
Whether you like it or not, I'll always feel, at
least a little bit, a
part of the Dempsey family, and you can't take that away from me! ;-) I
know that Ch. Dempsey
would have something to say about that! You all are
the greatest, thank you for writing back and I'm sure I will
talk to you
soon. School is over in a week and finals are next week...so i'll be here
for at least 2.5 more weeks,
my number is: 845-515-2420, please to call
anytime you want!
Love you all,
Ricky "the boy who used to drink all
your grape soda"
Email received
May 24
Mr.
and Mrs. Dempsey,
I am sorry I didn't write earlier but i just couldn't get the
courage to do so. I have had so many things that I have wanted to say but I just couldn't get them out. So here goes. I am
so sorry for what happened. I know that you have heard that over and over but I had to say it. Ever since I found out what
happened I feel like I lost a piece of myself. For days I couldn't sleep I sat up every night thinking of all the things me
and Ryan had done together including all the good times in Hawaii and when I moved here and he came to visit, and how
much he ment to me. I just want you to know how special Ryan was to me. I truley thought of him as my brother. He was just
one of those people who make their way in to your life and you feel blessed from the experiences shared and how they had such
an overwhelming effect on what type of person you end up to be. He always had that type of charisma about him where he could
get along with anyone. When ever I needed to I could always call him up just to talk and he would rant on about something
that was just so funny you had to hold your self from using the bathroom right there. Even though we never got to see each
other to much after I moved, when ever we would talk on the phone or the internet it was just like old times. That was just
the way it was between us. My heart will always hold a special place just for him. He will never be forgotten. It also sounds
like he had so many friends were he lived and that they all loved him to. Oh yeah i had my hair in cornrows all year last
year and some of this year, so thats just a style nothing more. I mean we both always did our own things and thats what mad
us so close. I know that you guys and Ryan did not usually see eye to eye but I know that he did love you guys very much.
No matter what happened on I just want you to know that he was a very talented, caring individual that was such a grace to
have on this earth. The world is worse off without him. I miss him with all of my heart and soul and I love him like a brother.
I believe he knew that you were very good parents and you did all that you could for him. He will always be remembered as
a very unique, special, and loving individual to me. I know that I could never replace Ryan but I have always thought of both
of you as my other parents so to respect to you and Ryan if its ok I write this as your other son. I love you both.
David
This is something I wrote after this all happened.
Ashes to
Ashes
Dust to Dust
Speak to me friend your
words I wont hush
A River flows forever even when people suffer
The ocean waves break even when theres pain
The sun still shines even when theres
rain
As strong as love can be the days move to nights
As strong as hate can be nights move back to days
Then the sun shines again and things
are never the same
His soul is always there to help you ride that river, that River
The one that flows forever.
David
Email received May 14
You guys are so awesome for even giving us the small chance to
get to know one of the craziest people in the world. And I want to thank YOU guys so much for that.
I'm praying for
you guys, and so many other "Rhode Islanders" are too.
I loved that boy.
~Hope
This picture is one of
the silliest ones I could find.
JackandRyan.jpg
Your family has my deepest sympathy. I love Ryan
like a brother; my little brother did too. Ryan made me laugh harder than anyone I can remember. Thank God we
got back on good terms, in fact I forgot we ever were not. I always planned to include Ryan in my life. It further
proves only the good die young. Keep in touch.
Jack
Email received May 14
Hey mr and ms dempsey,
i've been thinking about
you guys and i hope your doing well...its been really rough for me since ryans death...death, such a weird concept to grasp
when i think of Ryan...sometimes when im sad i picture him in my head sayin whats up and hopping in his little Honda with
a grin on his face and it always makes me smile.
Ryan had a greater impact on my life then i think he even knew.
He was like a big brother to me and i loved to be around him. He treated me like such and also as an equal. What really
made me open my eyes was at the service when you (mr dempsey) held up the picture of ryan when he was givin the peace sign,
and you were talking about how proud of him you were...it touched me and it brings a tear to my eye when i think about it...but
it also made me want to have my dad say that about me. so i went on ahead and joined the army in the 82nd airborne division..i
leave in august but anyways before that event i was not sure about anything and i think that my decision will provide me with
the structure i need in life to succeed...i would like to thank you for bringing such a good person into this world(i see
where he gets it from) and even though the army brat life is hard i would have never had the chance to meet ryan if he and
i were both not a part of it...Well its getting late and i think i need to go to bed, but i just want to send out my love
to you guys.
Much Love,
Matthew
Mrs. Dempsey,
I just wanted to say hello and to wish you are your
family a wonderful holiday
season. I wish you all the greatest times spent together, and much good luck
and
health in the next year.
On the instant messenger you ask for memories of Ry. I have so many of those.
I first
met Ryan in 6th grade in Mrs. Hodges' class. I was sitting right
next to him, since his last name starts with a
D and mine starts with an E,
and she asked us to write about how our summer vacation went. I started
writing
on mine, and then decided I would rather right about something else,
and i started scratching it out with wiggly lines
that I created with my
pencil. Ryan saw me and said, "Cool, how do you do that?" SO I showed him
and ever
since we were friends for the rest of the year.
Another moment I remember is when him and Leslie Mcdonald came home with
me on
the bus. We played for hours in my back yard. I remember it being so much
fun, because Ryan and
Leslie were boyfriend/girlfriend, and I remember when he
got his front tooth knocked out, he told her she didn't have
to be his
girlfriend anymore if she didn't want to, but she didn't care about the tooth
thing, she thought he was
funny for saying it.
Those are my two fondest memories of Ryan. Just thought I'd share my thoughts
with you.
Have a wonderful day, and happy holidays.
Ellie
We would love to add your thoughts or photos. Either put it in our
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